Bonded to the Abuser: How Victims Make Sense of Childhood Abuse [Hardcover]

Baker and Schneiderman are both leaders in research on child abuse and parental alienation. ?Here they examine published memoirs and stories of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of children,?identifying themes from the literature and illustrative narratives. ?Though the authors do not elaborate on the themes or on how?children make sense of maltreatment by parents, the writings Baker and Schneiderman?examine?reveal children's fear and dread, yearning for approval, and coping strategies as they try to please parentsenabling readers to travel with children through trauma, deprivation, and the quest for parental approval. ?The book reveals children's need for parental approval and recognition even when parents are not present, do not approve of their children, or do not see children as separate beings. ?Mental illness?(e.g., schizophrenia, substance abuse, personality disorder) often figures in, preventing parents from appreciating childrens needs. ?The authors point out that despite pain, suffering, and/or deprivation, children often yearn for parental love, approval, and recognition; without therapeutic intervention, that yearning can continue into adulthood. ?This book will be helpful for understanding child abuse and children's bonds with abusers. Summing Up: Recommended. Lower- and upper-division undergraduates; graduate students; professionals; general readers.Before I became?a therapist, I had a very hard time seeing how one could forgive?the abuser of an innocent child. I found it almost excruciating to try?to understand the mindset of the person who had harmed an innocent kid, often their own. But once?I became a therapist, I recognized that a host of problems in the abusers life and upbringing often?contribute to?their violent?behavior. Mental illness, their own experience of prior abuse, their own?early childhood trauma, and?substance issues can be factors. Sometimes, though, we cannot quite?identify what the behavior?stems from. But as Amy Baker and?lӟ