The De-Textbook: The Stuff You Didn't Know About the Stuff You Thought You Knew [Hardcover]

You are an idiot.

Don't get defensive! It's not your fault. For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!

But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the CrackedDe-Textbookwill teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not.The De-Textbookis a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.Praise for YOU MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE AND OTHER BAD NEWS

In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know. —Sarah Silverman

Smart, funny, and cool. —Roger Ebert

The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell! —Stan LeeFounded in 1958 as a print publication, Cracked.com has been published exclusively online since 2006. Jack O’Brien, the site’s editor in chief, lives in New York.

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Jack O’Brien

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

David Wong

HEAD WRITER

Daniel O’Brien

SENIOR EDITORS

Michael Swaim, Robert Brockway, Soren Bowie, Kristi Harrison, Adam Tod Brown, Cody Johnston

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