On Children and Death [Paperback]

On Children and Deathis a major addition to the classic works of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, whoseOn Death and DyingandLiving with Death and Dyinghave been continuing sources of strength and solace for tens of millions of devoted readers worldwide. Based on a decade of working with dying children, this compassionate book offers the families of dead and dying children the help -- and hope -- they need to survive. In warm, simple language, Dr. Kübler-Ross speaks directly to the fears, doubts, anger, confusion, and anguish of parents confronting the terminal illness or sudden death of a child.Chapter 1

Letter to Bereaved Parents

My, Dear Friends,

This is a letter to you who are in the process of losing a child. We have accompanied and followed so many moms and dads on this difficult journey, and this book is about the concerns they expressed and the lessons we learned.

As your child gets weaker and closer to death, you will wonder how much a child should know about the possible terminal outcome of the illness. I say possible because I have witnessed many miracles.

All children know (not consciously, but intuitively) about the outcome of their illness. All little ones are aware (not on an intellectual, but on a spiritual level) if they are close to death. They will ask occasionally, Mom, am I going to die? Or if they sense that you are unable to talk or even think about it, older children will write a poem or a page in their diary about it. They may confide in a friend or a special person who is not necessarily a member of the family, and thus more able to hear their often symbolic language. If they have a roommate in the hospital or a playmate in the hospital playroom, they may share their knowledge with another sick child. Few grownups ever know how many secrets are shared in such a way.

Every person, big or small, needs one person in which to confide. Children often choose the leastl3œ