You&39re Too Kind A Brief History of Flattery [Paperback]

Okay, who was the first flatterer? If you guessed Satan, you'd be close, but according toYou're Too Kind,flattery began with chimpanzees, who groom each other all day long. In fact, flattery is an adaptive behavior that has helped us survive since prehistoric times.
Our flattery is strategic praise, and to illustrate its myriad forms, Richard Stengel takes us on a witty, idiosyncratic tour, from chimps to the God of the Old Testament to the troubadour poets of the Middle Ages, all the way through Dale Carnegie and Monica Lewinsky's adoring love letters to her Big Creep.
Flattery thrives in hierarchical settings like royal courts or Fortune 500 boardrooms, and it flows both upward and downward. Downward is usually easier, but studies show it works best on those who already have high opinions of themselves.
Stengel sees public flattery as an epidemic in our society, and private praise as being all too scarce. Most often, though, flattery these days is just a harmless deception, a victimless crime that often ends up making both the giver and the receiver feel a little better. In short, flattery works.Contents

Introduction

A Word or Two on the Etymology of Flattery


Chapter 1 Everyone Has a Hierarchy

Chapter 2 YouCanTake It with You

Chapter 3 Flatter Me or Else

Chapter 4 Flattery Is Undemocratic

Chapter 5 The Invention of Romantic Flattery

Chapter 6 The Courtier's Guide to How to Flatter

Chapter 7 American Transparency

Chapter 8 How Flattery Won Friends and Influenced People

Chapter 9 The Science of Ingratiation

Chapter 10 The Capitals of Modern Flattery

Epilogue: How to Flatter Without Getting Caught

Appendix

Notes

Acknowledgments

IndexElissa SchappellVanity FairWinningly smart and ever so charming.Jonathan YardleyThe Washington PostStengel has written not merely a popular history of flattel³&